Empaths + Highly Sensitive People
Do you feel anxious and overwhelmed around large crowds or in social settings?
Do certain people or environments make you feel dizzy?
Do you feel relaxed when by yourself but anxious when you go out in the world?
Or maybe loud noises, like yelling, cause a strong negative response in you?
Do you feel almost like you have a hangover after spending time with a large group?
If any of this resonates, you may be an Empath or a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). There is nothing wrong with you. You are not too sensitive, despite what others have made you feel. You are not broken. In this week’s blog I want to break these concepts down and explain these two types. There are some differences between these two, although they commonly overlap in people; Meaning if someone is a HSP, they are likely to also be an Empath, though certainly not always the case.
What is an Empath and what does it mean to be an Empath?
Empaths are people who can physically feel other people’s physical and emotional pain and emotions. If someone they love is sad, for example, an Empath will also feel sad, but in an equal way. Not just that they feel sympathy for someone they love feeling bad, but they will actually take on the emotion. If someone is feeling anxious, afraid, joyful, confident...Empaths can take all these emotional states on, with or without realizing it. They assume these strong negative emotions they feel are theirs. If someone they love or care for has pain in their knee, an Empath might also start to have pain there and not understand why. They can feel things from people they come into contact with throughout the day and essentially absorb their energy, often without even knowing so, and without even knowing the person. If they come into contact with someone who has a dark cloud over them, an Empath might take that on and carry it around with them, believing it is their own. You can imagine how exhausting and overwhelming that can be. If someone is an Empath, it is important that they know so they can manage how much they absorb and understand their tendency to do so. There are many ways to clear this energy and protect yourself from taking on too much. Most Empaths will feel very depleted and burnt out if they don’t ground themselves and consciously release any energy they take on.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person and what does it mean to be one?
Highly Sensitive People (HSP), on the other hand, are sensitive to their environment and certain sounds, emotions in others, or sensations. For example, a loud concert with people in a tight space may be a nightmare for a HSP. Bright fluorescent overhead or strobe lights can trigger headaches or nausea in HSP. Certain fabrics or materials may also be uncomfortable for this group of people. They are highly responsive to their environment. If someone is angry around them, it might cause them a lot of stress and fear, but they won’t necessarily take on the emotion of anger, like an Empath might. They are also likely to be more introverted people, because so much can overwhelm them, they prefer to be home in a quieter environment. HSP may like to socialize and experience concerts, fireworks, and such, but may need time to recoup after these experiences which can be draining to them.
What are the challenges of being an Empath or HSP?
Empath’s especially can feel quite lost. As they often have a hard time discerning where they end and others begin. They have big hearts. They can often attract Narcissistic or emotionally-manipulative people in their life. Both Empaths and HSP feel things strongly and deeply. They can read their loved ones well, because they can sense subtle shifts in emotional states. They can have intense and emotionally overwhelming relationships. They may be people-pleasers, as an attempt to regulate the environment or emotions of others. For these individuals, if they don’t know, life can be really challenging. Both groups can have a hard time explaining these concepts to their loved ones and peers, which may leave them feeling misunderstood and a bit isolated. It is important to know how to manage these sensitivities. Otherwise, they feel more like a curse, when they are really a gift.
What are ways to manage taking on others emotions and sensitivities?
Smudging: This is the practice of burning sacred herbs that cleanse your energy field. This is a tradition that has traces across numerous cultures. Burning sages will clear all energy. Burning Palo Santo will clear negative energy. You can also burn Sweetgrass, which will bring in positive energy. When you do this, you can let the smoke go around your body and say to yourself: “I cleanse and clear my physical, emotional, and mental body. I release anything I’m carrying that does not belong to me or that does not serve my greatest good.” Call in anything you want as you do this too. For example, “I call love and abundance into my space. I am free of all fear.” Make it personal. Add this to your daily or weekly self-care practice.
Sponge Mantra: This is something I discovered years ago. Repeating this to yourself as much as you need throughout the day...”I am not a sponge for other people emotions, energy, feelings, thoughts... I do not absorb other people’s stuff. I do not leak my stuff onto others. I am not responsible for anyone else or their thoughts, feelings, actions...I am only responsible for me and my stuff. I release anything I am carrying that does not belong to me.” Each time you do this, imagine a healing bubble around you in whatever color that calls to you. Imagine this bubble protects you throughout the day from absorbing anyone else’s energy or feeling overwhelmed in your environment. You can do this before leaving your house and before coming home each day. You can do this whenever you think you might have picked up some emotion that isn’t yours. Remember, if you aren’t sure, just ask yourself and you might get an answer about who it belongs to.
Baths: It may be surprising, but submerging yourself in water helps to release and reset your energy field. Adding Epsom salt will not only help with body aches and pains, but it is also a great detoxer. It will remove physical and emotional stuff that is weighing you down. Think of it just like taking a dip in the salt water of the ocean. Salt water is incredibly healing. When you are about to pull the plug and let the bathwater drain, ask the water to remove anything that doesn’t serve your greatest good. You can repeat the intention from the Smudging section.
Grounding: I have a whole blog written on this topic alone. I recommend you check it out here, but essentially, spend time in nature and being present with your body. Being grounded is about connecting deeply to ourselves and the earth. Nature is a quiet place that offers sanctuary from the busy and chaotic lives most people live. We need time to reconnect to our roots and remember how we are one with Mother Nature and all her beings. Spend time in the woods, on a beach, near a creek, in a flowery field, or in the mountains. Give your problems back to Mother Earth and ask her to take away everything you’re are carrying that is too heavy and/or that does not belong to you.
Meditation around this topic can also help you discern what is your emotional state and what might be something you’ve picked up from someone else. Understanding and managing these concepts and using these practices will change your life if you fall into one or both of these categories.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with you. Being an Empath or HSP can be a great gift! They can have deeper and more meaningful connections with people in their lives. They can read more in a situation than most, which can help them make more confident decisions, by having access to additional information. They can read when people are being honest or if their words are empty. Learn to listen to your intuition and what it is trying to tell you about a person, situation, or opportunity.
If this blog post resonates with you, I would love to work with you. Learn more about my specialty in this area and booking a session with me here. I also recommend the books The Empath’s Survival Guide by Judith Orloff or The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. Both cover these topics in greater detail and discuss how to let these strengths shine through.
Sarah Lustig is a Licensed Therapist in Colorado and a Holistic and Spiritual Coach living in Asheville, North Carolina. She is the owner of a Nurtured Essence, a healing center, aimed at helping people overcome their fears and live with more purpose and lightness. She specializes in working with wounded healers, empaths, and lightworkers.