Coping Skills to Improve the Quality of your Sleep and Wake up Refreshed!
In continuing my series on Coping Skills, this week I want to give you tools to better manage night-time anxiety and trouble sleeping. The evenings can be hard for many people, as it’s often when anxiety is the highest. Our brains are the most tired from the day, and our defenses will be down. We are more likely to be emotional, be defensive, and be irritable; Especially if we haven’t been taking care of our basic needs throughout the day, like eating, drinking enough water, going to the bathroom regularly, or taking breaks throughout the day.
Many people who suffer with high anxiety, also have trouble with insomnia. People who have experienced trauma are more likely to have challenges with sleep and have Insomnia. This is because flashbacks and nightmares can often happen when our brain defenses are lower. This happens when we are tired and when we are sleeping. Trauma is stored in our unconscious brain, and during sleep our unconscious brain is most active, which is why it is common to experience night terrors during dream time. If this is true for you, be aware of your thoughts around sleep, and how you may be adding to the story of being a bad sleeper.
What helps you get great sleep?
In order to get the best sleep, you want to make sure your space is calm, uncluttered, and a cool enough temperature. If you are too hot at night, you won’t be able to fall asleep or get quality sleep. Make sure your bedroom is a comfortable temperature for you. It is best to have colors like greens, blues, and purples in bedrooms. Colors that are soft hues, and not intense colors like red and orange. These are very energizing colors and can be over-stimulating to our brains at night.
I’m realistic as a therapist, and know that what is best isn’t always going to be what feels best. Having said that, I will say watching TV in bed is not good for you and your sleep. It is best not to have a TV in your bedroom at all. Our beds should be reserved for sleeping and intimate activities only. If you are watching a dramatic TV show before bed, think about what the consumption of that content is doing for your brain. It is keeping it activated and engaged in the action, as opposed to winding down to prepare for the rest it desperately requires.
So, what will help you wind down? The first thing I recommend to clients is something called a Brain Dump. Get a journal or notebook just for this purpose and keep it next to your bed or in your nightstand. Each night before bed, spend 5-15 minutes writing down all the thoughts in your head. Do this stream of Consciousness-style. It doesn’t matter what they are or if they make sense. Just get the thoughts down on paper. This serves 2 purposes. You can write down all your to-dos and things you didn’t get to today, and that way you already have a jumpstart on the next day. It also means you don’t have to keep repeating the thoughts in order to not forget, because they are written down for you. You can read through these the next morning if you’d like. It also serves to externalize your thoughts and give them a place to exist outside of your head. This way when you actually lay your head on the pillow to go to sleep, your brain is emptier, and your thoughts will be calmer, and less jumbled. You can throw these writings away if you want, but you might also start to learn from what comes up in the writing. You may be able to see trends emerge and get some insight into your awareness. This is a very effective strategy to use and one many clients really enjoy doing nightly once they create the habit.
What techniques can help you fall asleep?
Another helpful practice is Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). When you get into bed, lay on your back if it is comfortable for you. Take 3 deep breaths and feel your body relax into your bed. Feel how your bed supports you. Notice and feel how the sheets and comforter feel on your body. Are the sheets soft? Scratchy? Just notice what comes up. Then move into PMR: Starting at your toes, tighten the muscles for 5 seconds and then relax. Notice the difference between the tension and the relaxation. You will do this for each muscle in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up. Make sure to include your face in this (if you don’t fall asleep before you get there). Many people carry tension in their jaw without even realizing it. Often throughout the day we are ‘biting our tongue’ to not say certain things. This emotional restraint causes tension within us that can manifest in the jaw, which can lead to teeth-grinding and headaches. So, spend some time working through any tightness in this area or around your neck and skull.
Listen to a Sleep story, Meditation, or Binural beats while you fall asleep at night. There are numerous apps out there for this, but one of my favorites is the Insight Timer app. They have over 30,000 FREE meditations. You can also search meditations or Binural Beats on Youtube. There are many free options, without commercials, to help guide you into a relaxed state of mind. If you have not heard the term ‘Binural Beats’ before essentially, they are tones that are meaningful to our brain, and which our brain responds to. They are essentially a dull beat in the background that is meant to elicit a certain response in you. There are binural beats for stress relief, for concentration, for releasing anxiety, and so, so many more! Find some favorites that work for you. You can also listen to nature sounds like rainfall, waves on a beach, trains off in the distance, or owls hooting. There are so many different and wonderful tracks out there that can help your brain slow down and drift into peaceful sleep.
I hope this week’s bedtime coping skills have been helpful to you. I hope they will bring you more restful sleep that leaves you feeling rejuvenated each day. Next week, I will be wrapping up my coping skills series by exploring what Self-Care means in terms of coping skills. To get support with improving your life, and managing stress, apply to work with me here.
Sarah Seraphina is a Spiritual Activator and Liberation Guide. She is the owner of Nurtured Essence, a healing space, aimed at helping women overcome their past patterns and fears, so they may thrive and live with more power, purpose, ease, and joy. She specializes in working with healers, recovering empaths and “Damsels in Distress”, highly-sensitive women, lightworkers, and women with a sacred mission.
