Understanding our Masculine and Feminine Parts
March is Women’s History Month. International Women’s Day is March 8th. Celebrating and understanding the unique experience of being a woman is important for all people—men, women, and all genders, including non-binary. All people in the world come from being birthed by a woman. Though, giving birth is not the only thing that gives a woman worth, nor should it be the only reason women are celebrated. Women bring so much into the world, and yet the female experience is anything but easy. The Feminine energy has much to offer the world that is quite different than what Masculine energy brings.
How are women treated differently and how does this impact society?
Women are often seen as lower than men in many societies across the globe. They are viewed as less capable, less trustworthy, and less intelligent. They still have less rights, and their bodies are much more strictly regulated, such as in the example of abortion. The oppression of women is what continues to create immense challenges and pain in our world. We need more of a balance of feminine voices in leadership to bring the compassion and delicate touch that is so often missing from our global and political climate. We need more women in positions of power, and we need more men to support strong woman, and a strong female presence in professional, personal, and government settings. We are moving in a direction of more diversity and balance, but we still have a long way to go.
The healing and repair work needs to start with each of us. Many people do not realize this, but we all carry within us both Feminine and Masculine energies and traits. Having these masculine and feminine traits is not about gender. No matter your gender-identity, sexuality, or sexual preferences, we all have these shared experiences. Understanding these characteristics and how we can work with them, allows us to be more aware of our strengths, which to call on, and when. We can work with and honor the gifts of these two parts, both in ourselves, and for how they impact the world.
What challenges do we face between the masculine and feminine?
When these energies are disharmonious within us, or we are acting from one more than the other, it can cause challenges for us and in our relationships. When we are conscious of these different sides of us and we work with them, we can truly master these energies and use them to create an aligned life. When we have been hurt by one gender, we can shut down the same traits associated with that gender, either the feminine or masculine traits. We can also overcompensate and rely more heavily on those traits. For example, if a person was abused by their father, they might shut down the traits they share with the father, like their anger or insecurities. Or they might go the opposite direction and be overly independent, and never accept help from another, embodying the masculine trait of independence, but in a way that keeps them disconnected from others. If they shut down these traits, this becomes harmful to them, as we need to express ourselves in healthy and appropriate ways. If that person over identifies with independence, they might isolate themselves from others. Can you see from this example why balance in our traits is helpful?
What does it mean to be connected to your Feminine energy and how can it help you?
When our Feminine energy is balanced, unblocked, and flowing, we are compassionate, intuitive, creative, abundant, feel safe being supported by others, and love unconditionally. We feel safe asking for help from others. We feel safe expressing ourselves and showing emotions. We can experience more inspiration when our feminine energy is balanced. We feel and trust the world is a safe place. We trust our needs will be met and we feel comfortable being vulnerable. Feminine energy is soft, healing, and tender. When our feminine energy is flowing, we feel positive about our sexuality and sexual expression. We can be intimate with others. Feminine energy is about being fertile and giving birth. This can mean giving birth to new dreams, new opportunities, creating music or art. Feminine energy can also be very protective and fierce. Think of a Momma bear protecting her young cubs!
When feminine energy is blocked or wounded a person can experience depression, be selfish, have low self-esteem, be insecure, and/or be controlling. They will be more needy, overly-sensitive, and codependent in their relationships. They can be bitter, or have a lot of self-pity. They are often afraid and view the world as a dangerous place. They can’t stand other’s happiness, and yet will be the Martyr, and put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. They can be controlling or manipulative as a means to get their needs met. Do any of these sound like you? This list is not meant to be judgmental or critical, but to help you be aware of how you may be wounded in your feminine and need to work on healing this area.
The Left side of the body represents the Feminine. So if you have aches and pains on this side, it could be a sign you need healing in your Feminine Energy.
What does it mean to be connected to your Masculine energy and how can it help you?
When our Masculine energy is healthy and flowing, we feel strong, powerful, abundant, and confident. We have energy and vitality. We can be protective, especially of the feminine. We can provide for ourselves and others. Healthy masculine energy is having courage and feeling empowered in yourself and who you are. We are in touch with our feelings, but don’t let them control us. We can surrender and commit to love unconditionally, trusting in our strength to get through any hardships. We are active and proactive. We don’t feel threatened by others. We are strong and sure of our ability to persevere.
When the masculine is unhealthy or wounded, we see a lot of destruction. We can see the energy of wanting to conquer, or hold power over, others. We see someone who is greedy, ruthless, careless, selfish, arrogant, cruel, easily threatened, and deceitful. People who have wounded masculine can be forceful, brutal, stubborn, cowardly, and headstrong. They do not think about anyone, but themselves. They are disconnected from themselves and their emotions. They can thrive in chaos, especially if they have created it. They are weak and insecure. Again, this list is not meant to be hurtful, but for you to see how you may be hurting if any of these characteristics sound like you.
The Right side of the body represents the Masculine Energy. If you have aches and pains on this side, it may indicate a block in your masculine energy.
Learning to embody both your masculine and feminine traits…
Either gender can experience these healthy or wounded states. We all have the ability to embody these states and act from a wounded feminine or masculine energy. I know I certainly have many times! The goal is to be aware of our wounded places and do our best to consciously act from our healthy and healed selves. We can access these healthy and healed selves through therapy and other methods of self-exploration and healing. You can access your Feminine and Masculine parts through meditation, checking in to see what each of these parts needs from you. Exploring how your Masculine part can provide for your feminine part. How you can bring in the passion of your feminine self to drive success in your work (your masculine self)? Work with both of these energies and see how they show up for you! Together they represents the Yin and Yang of life.
As you read through the wounded descriptions, you could probably see a lot of those traits showing up in current and past world leaders, or celebrities. We can see how these characteristics, playing out on a global scale, could cause some serious challenges and consequences. These wounded energies are affecting the collective energy, which impacts us all. When we heal these wounds within ourselves, we learn to value what both our balanced feminine and masculine selves give us, and what these traits give the world. There are gifts in both of these. As we have explored, there can also be great wounds. This is why it is important to be aware of the differences and how they can negatively impact us.
Spend some time this week noticing these traits within yourself and how they may be impacting you. How can you honor the feminine and masculine energy within yourself and the world? I hope this blog was helpful for you and gives you an understanding in how to be more aware of these parts within you. As always, I am happy to help you navigate this area. Learn more about working with me here.
Sarah Lustig is a Licensed Therapist in Colorado and a Holistic and Spiritual Coach living in Asheville, North Carolina. She is the owner of a Nurtured Essence, a healing center, aimed at helping people overcome their fears and live with more purpose and lightness. She specializes in working with wounded healers, empaths, and lightworkers.