Black History Month: Honoring a history of Pain
The 18th of this month is Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day. His birthday was January 15th. February is Black History month, and I wanted to take some time, and words, to acknowledge this. For Black men and women, Black History Month is about honoring their unique and shared stories, their ancestors, and their lineage. It is about celebrating their rich histories and contributions to society, that have often been overlooked, or downright stolen and denied. This month is also about grieving a violent history, that unfortunately, continues on.
For White, and really all, people I think it is important for this month to be about education, understanding, and awareness. Black Communities are culturally rich, diverse, and come from a variety of backgrounds and countries. It is important to take some time throughout the month (and the whole year) to reflect on how you might perpetuate and benefit from systems that actively hold others back. How your music, fashion, and every aspect of life has been shaped by Black Culture and its heritage. This is not to make you feel guilty, but to enrich your understanding of how others have had different experiences from your own, based on differences out of their control. We do not need to compare our pain. But we should still be aware of the pain taking place around us, and do our best to make our portion of the world better.
As Therapists, we are not supposed to discuss politics with our clients. We are not meant to make our views known, just as we aren’t meant to share other personal details about ourselves. This has typically been an easy code to honor.
However, this past year made that harder than ever for me. I have been a therapist for many years now. We have seen Black Men and Women killed by Police force in that time, and this area has come up in therapy before. But this past year was different. With the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, Clients were coming to therapy with overwhelming grief and pain.
Clients, from different backgrounds and ages, wanted to discuss these very dynamic situations and how they were impacted by them. It felt nearly impossible to navigate these discussions without expressing what I felt too. Client’s seemed to need to know I was ‘safe’ to talk to about these traumas. They were eager to hear my outrage and heartbreak too.
It became difficult to differentiate humanity from politics. When a political leader was actively inciting violence against citizens of OUR country, how could I, as a Therapist, meant to serve those in need, not speak up and out? Staying silent was not an option, as it would cause further harm to our Black and Brown Brothers and Sisters.
As a Therapist I am bound by certain ethics, rules and regulations. The American Counseling Association (ACA) says… “Counselors are expected to advocate to promote changes at the individual, group, institutional, and societal levels that improve the quality of life for individuals and groups…” To me, this feels like a duty to look out and speak up for those who are being systemically harmed. To me this is a duty to advocate for change and equity for all. We have different needs and we need to honor that, and each other.
I am acutely aware I am a White woman, because I am aware I am a White Therapist. This may not matter much to my White clients, but I think it matters very much to clients who are Black, Brown, Asian, and/or indigenous. They want to know, and for good reason, will I be safe enough for them? As a White woman, will I side with the Oppressor and the one who has both caused and denied their pain? How will I respond to their pain and grief when topics around race and their experience come up–with defensiveness or with compassion?
I have done meaningful exploration with myself around White Privilege, White Fragility, and my personal and professional experiences of these. As a White Therapist, I believe it is necessary to do this work in order to understand how our Whiteness may impact the dynamics of therapy and rapport with the populations we work with. There are cultural and ethnic variations in therapy with different populations. It is important to take this into consideration and be aware of how these variations impact treatment, and may create different barriers. It is important to understand trauma in context, through personal and familial history and lineage. I believe ALL therapists, but especially White ones, need to be trained in Multicultural Awareness and how to proficiently serve a variety of populations.
Doing your own personal work around White Privilege and White Fragility will allow you to be a better neighbor to the world. Reflect on your roots and the history of those roots. How do you aide in the world being a safer place for others, and in what ways do you make it a harder place? As a White person, how do you benefit from culture outside of your own? You don’t have to take on blame for what has happened in the past. However, I truly believe it is our responsibility to be kind to each other each day. We determine how we want to show up in the world. Bring these topics to therapy and explore how you can be a better ally.
The best thing you can do, besides being kind each day to all you meet, is to read Black voices, listen to Black stories, watch movies about and made by Black people. Support Black-owned restaurants, music, fashion, and art. Find these businesses in your own community. Give credit to these voices and their invaluable contributions to our world throughout history. They have a lot of gratitude owed to them for all they have given. Take time to learn how you can support Black, Brown, indigenous, and other communities near you.
To learn more about Black history, start with Rachel Cargle’s The Great Unlearn https://rachel-cargle.com/the-great-unlearn/
Remember there are many great sources out there! To learn more about working with me to heal trauma click here.
Sarah Lustig is a Licensed Therapist in Colorado and a Holistic and Spiritual Coach living in Asheville, North Carolina. She is the owner of a Nurtured Essence, a healing center, aimed at helping people overcome their fears and live with more purpose and lightness. She specializes in working with wounded healers, empaths, and lightworkers.