Romanticize your Life: Embody Passion and Pleasure
Have you been feeling overwhelmed with the chaos and transitions in your life? Have you been feeling the weight of the world on your heart and letting it get you down? Feel like you are moving through the motions without being fully present for your life?
It’s normal to go through a season of our lives in which we lose our joy, our passion, our desire to engage fully with life, but this shouldn’t be the normal experience for chapters or years of our lives…
Why Romanticize your life?
When we lose our way, getting caught up in others, in their opinions of us or in their drama, trying to conform ourselves or rescue others, to be liked and loved, the medicine that is needed, is to come home to ourselves.
To come home to the relationship with yourself and your life. To reconnect with the relationship you have with your body, with your heart, with your mind, with your wounds, with your strengths, with your soul.
When you have a caring heart, it can be a daily practice to not get lost in the moods, emotions, and struggles of those you love, but it is so important to be present for yourself and what you need to thrive, and for your internal cup to be as full as possible each day.
We can get so caught up in the day to day, and the harshness of life, that we forget to add, and connect with, sweetness and softness. We get lost in the drudges of life sometimes, and we loose our passionate drive for the things we used to love. Sometimes, we even take those things for granted, and it is important to remember, and be aware of, all we have to be grateful for.
What does it mean to Romanticize your life?
Romanticizing our lives is about adding everyday sweetness and luxury. It is about slowing down to be present with ourselves fully and considering what would add that little extra bit of luxury to each moment.
For example, instead of using any ol’ pen to journal, why not use a purple sparkly pen with a feather? Adding that little bit of magic to an otherwise bland tool. We can carry that kind of intention into other areas.
It’s about intentionally connecting with our pleasure and being intimate with our lives. It is about having an intimate relationship with ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, our souls; Being closely and deeply connected with ourselves, our desires, and our primal needs.
Our senses are the compass to rediscovering and following our sensuality. To bring our attention back to our sense of touch, taste, sight, hearing, and feeling. These are the keys to romancing your life!
To let yourself explore what feels good to you through your senses…
Notice what feels pleasurable to touch, what kinds of textures do you enjoy? Satiny, velvety, cottony? Do you prefer cool or warmth?
What feels pleasurable to your taste buds? Salty pretzels? Sweet, fresh, mango? Spicy chili?
What feels pleasurable to listen to? Chill beachy jams? Upbeat dance music? Soulful, sacred songs?
What feels pleasurable to look at? What kinds of spaces or environments make you feel inspired? Or sexy? What kinds of art light you up to see? What kinds of movies feel good to watch and feel visually enjoyable?
Ask yourself, what would your life look like if you were living in a romance novel? How might a romance author write the scenes of your day? Whatever answers come to you, can you incorporate them into your life?
If you have trouble coming up with your own ways to add more romance to your life, here are some of my favorite ways…
Buy myself flowers, especially roses. I love having fresh flowers in my home — it makes the day feel more special and celebratory. Different color roses can have different meanings and help us connect with certain frequencies. For me, when I’m looking to add romance into my life, I love deep pink or orangey colored roses or flowers. When I’m looking for bliss, I love yellow roses or sunflowers. When I’m looking for purity and softness, I love white or soft pink roses. When I’m looking for self-love, red roses or jasmine are two I love.
I encourage you to play with colors, types of flowers, what they mean to you, and your intentions for choosing certain colors or flowers. Flowers add so much beauty to a space, and always make life feel more romantic!
Take a luxurious bubble bath with lovely scents and flowers — I like to add rose petals or lavender to my baths. I also add different essences of shamanic waters to purify and cleanse my body and aura. It makes me forget any stress and surrender completely to my Divine Feminine.
During this time, I really allow myself to soak into the experience of being in warm waters, being held in a sort of cosmic womb. I close my eyes and let myself be transported to a supportive space outside of time, where I can simply be, simply float in the Divine waters, to be deeply cleansed at a cellular and energetic level.
Listen to love songs. I have a playlist of all my favorite love songs — when I play it my whole is uplifted mood and vibration shifts to love. When I listen to love songs, it is easier for me to connect to the love that is woven throughout my life, throughout my relationships with friends, family, and partners. Even when a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean the love has to.
You don’t have to have a romantic partner to be in the frequency of love. You can have a love affair with your life! You can be in love with the moon, with the stars, with yourself! Being in love in this way, is about cherishing all the love within and around you, which is always there, even when you don’t have a romantic partner to give and receive love from. You can always connect with the love the Universe has for you! Let yourself have a love affair with God, with the Divine creator, who loves you so!
When I’m listening to my love playlist, I will often dedicate certain songs to people in my life who I feel need the message of that song. This is another way I add love into the world and send love out to those in need, which they receive, even without knowing so.
Be intentional about lighting. As a sensitive woman, I am really impacted by certain aspects of my environment. For me, certain lighting is something that can add unnecessary discomfort and put me on edge. Bright overhead lighting adds stress to my nervous system, whereas warm light/table lamps are more soothing. Lighting can add a romantic and calming ambiance when we are intentional about it.
For example, lighting candles in your bedroom when you meditate instead of having a bright overhead light above you. This can help you soften your focus and be more internally focused, as opposed to being distracted by your environment. Adding candles to our bath time, during meals, or when being sexually intimate with a partner, can add more romance to the vibe.
Take yourself out on a date. I love getting dressed up and taking myself out to a nice meal, a movie, a museum trip. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t go out and fully enjoy your life. It’s wonderful to be able to “wine and dine” yourself in whatever way that means for you!
It always reminds me I am worthy of being celebrated and cherished. When we do this for ourselves, we teach others about our standards and how we like to be treated. The relationship we have with ourselves and our lives will always set the tone of all our other relationships, which is why it is so important to have a meaningful relationship with ourselves.
Treat yourself to small pleasures. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures, you don’t have to feel guilty for treating yourself and meeting your needs in whatever way that feels fun and nourishing to your body, mind, heart, or soul. Most “guilty pleasures” are actually unmet childhood needs that need to be expressed. So let yourself meet the need and explore where it comes from...which part of you has this need?
If you have a sweet tooth, how can you make this a special experience that you savor? If there’s a cute outfit you see, can you afford to splurge on this luxury for yourself? Small pleasures are powerful acts of self-love! Don’t discount them.
There are sooo many ways to romanticize your life! I encourage you to have fun and play around with your definition of romance. What would it mean for you to add more romance into your life? What might be the gifts of adding more romance for you? For your relationships with others? Consider where you are lacking passion and what you might need to bring some fiery energy into this area or aspect of your life.
However you choose to romanticize your life, remember it is supposed to be fun and playful, not add any stress, tension, or be something you shame yourself over. So let go of trying to control it too much, and surrender to what wants to unfold as you practice new ways of engaging with yourself and your life.
Sarah Seraphina is a Licensed Therapist in Colorado, and a Spiritual Activator and Guide, living in Asheville, North Carolina, which is stolen land from the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians. She is the owner of a Nurtured Essence, a healing space, aimed at helping people overcome their fears and live with more power, purpose, and joy. She specializes in working with wounded healers, recovering empaths, highly-sensitive women, lightworkers, and women with a sacred mission.